Are nurses people who please people?
Are nurses in danger of pleasing people? Or are people pleasers in danger of becoming nurses? Are some people born that way or is it something we learn? Is this the story of the chicken or the egg? Read on to discover some answers.
According to Dr. Harriet B. BraikerIn his book, The Disease to Please, most people who please people are made that way from early childhood. But it does not explain why multiple siblings, growing up in the same household, do not all develop the syndrome. However, it appears to be a condition that persists until it is effectively treated. It has damaged many lives, but the treatment is simple and effective.
This book is for lay people. It’s easy to follow and includes some tests you can take to see if you are a victim and, if so, how severe the condition is.
Complacent people it can be found, according to this book, in many areas of life, including in leadership roles. Have you ever heard of a “yes-man”? We’re not talking about the ones typically labeled “brats.” Those people have an agenda and they can stop. We’re talking about the person who just can’t say “No” to requests to do additional favors or duties for people.
These are people who seem to say “Yes” to too many requests, and then they end up so stressed that they seem about to explode. These are probably the people everyone always ask first to cover their shift, because they always agree to do so. And of course they also have the same problem saying “No” when they are not at work.
They agree to do much more than is humanly possible, and then they get angry and lose their patience in a way that may seem out of proportion to their current situation. Braiker locates many men and women who suffer from this problem and summarizes their case studies. It is well written and it is compassionate.
Many people who please tend to show love give gifts and perform acts of service, but have trouble receiving. They give and they do it until they wear out and soften. But those whom they love and serve never seem to reciprocate. These precious people often hide secret wounds and never feel loved by those on whom they lavish their affection. They often have trouble showing their sincere hearts to others due to the fears they have learned at an early age. It makes two-way relationships very difficult.
These are some of the things people who please people think and feel. “The words ‘I love you’ always carry memories of painful actions associated with it.” “Saying ‘No’ is dangerous.” “Love Hurts.” “I have to shut up and stay out of the way to be safe.” “I have to be a” nice “boy / girl and do what they tell me.” “I have to always agree.” “I have to comply.” “I always have to say ‘yes’.”
Obviously many – perhaps well intentioned – but still dysfunctional families raise complacent people. It is a trait that develops as a survival mechanism to help children survive. They are forced to find ways to manage in any way they can. Then more people who please people grow and breed.
So it’s a syndrome created. They usually accept all requests. Some may have been promiscuous in their teens as they haven’t learned about healthy boundaries. They have trouble understanding where they end and where others begin. They do not believe they have rights to what happens to their bodies. They can easily grow up to be battered spouses.
They are so sweet, so good and so nice. They dismiss their own needs and prefer the needs of others. These are some of its trademarks. This has been programmed into them. Maybe that’s why they are such good nurses. Hospital patients and nursing directors adore these obedient people. But on the inside, those who please people often suffer and are unable to change.
Your brothers You may have grown up with different looking scars, but they were probably all affected. We see victims of dysfunctional families every day, because almost none of us really understand how to be healthy or raise healthy children.
GOAL, THERE IS HELP – It is effective and easy! Braiker’s book provides a 21-day action plan with simple little steps to retrain the complacent responses to requests in a polite manner. From the earliest days, the people in the book who followed the footsteps saw exciting improvements.
This is easy! The steps are so small and they build on each other. Following these simple steps has helped many to become people who now live happy and fulfilling lives. The book is filled with former victims who have now come to embrace their own personal worth, as well as gain fresh new value for those around them.
Of course, a little book cannot be the total cure for a lifetime of behavior. And the plight of some is beyond what this book alone can address. But it certainly gives the people-pleaser a place to start. I like how it helps a person develop a sense that they have a right to be who they are, and that is priceless.
So are nurses in danger of pleasing people? No. If it wasn’t already, the nurse will not do it for you (although it will try). Are people who please people in danger of becoming nurses? Yes, a lot, because they love to do for others. Are people born like this? No. It is a trait that is learned during childhood. But some are more likely to develop this syndrome than others. And unfortunately, many people who like people will raise their children to become people who like people because they don’t know any better.
There are many other books on this topic. But this one is very easy to relate to and very easy to use.
Health! To your health!
