Children and lies: a normal or serious problem?

All children lie, but not all children are liars. All children lie at one point or another, however this does not mean they are liars. There are different reasons why children lie. They lie like a fantasy, which is very common in young children. Young children like to tell tales and stories, and this means that they are very creative. This becomes harmful when a child has reached the age of 6 and cannot distinguish fantasy from reality. Some children lie to deflect blame. No child wants to be punished for the bad deed they did, that’s why they lie. Children also lie because they fear disappointing their parents; they seek attention, yell for help, avoid stressful situations, or imitate the behavior of the adults around them. But worse than all this is the habit of compulsive lying. This means that lying has become routine and a problem that must be addressed immediately.

Studies have shown that many children today, especially teenagers, are constantly lying. Teens lie about how they spend their money, if they have started dating other teens, and even lie about the clothes they wear outside their homes. They lie about the movies they watch and the kids they hang out with. Parents are particularly concerned about their teens’ lies about drug and alcohol use.

What should parents do?

1. Be a good role model. Never tell lies, not even white lies.

2. Make your child understand the value of honesty. Be patient.

3. Never accept excuses to lie. Lying is unacceptable.

4. Your child must understand the consequences of lying and must learn to apologize.

5. Let your child know that you value the truth, regardless of the misbehavior.

10. Tell your child that the act of lying itself is what bothers him.

11. Praise your child when he is honest about something that might otherwise have been the source of a lie.

12. Avoid annoying and irrational decisions.

Explain to your child that telling the truth is important. You should take the time to teach your child the benefits of telling the truth from an early age.

However, you should seek professional help in case of persistent lies. Children who lie persistently may have underlying problems. This means that your child can no longer control lying. Studies have shown that children around the age of 10 tend to be much more adept at lying.

Some personality disorders increase the frequency of lying. Medical professionals may want to encourage the use of medications. While this can help, I highly recommend that you first work on solving behavior problems through better parent-child communication. In my opinion, drugs should be a last resort.