Single again? – How to savor being single

The dating game is supposed to be fun! You don’t have to resent being single, or even be afraid of it. Maybe you’ve always, or mostly, been single, or maybe you’re suddenly single after a long period of dating and the thought of dating terrifies you. Whatever the case, you shouldn’t feel “desperate and undated” just because you’re single.

If you see being single as a negative, you will attract the negative, or nothing at all, into your life. But if you see it as something positive, good things will come to you. First of all, the goal during singleness is not to finish as fast as possible and associate. An approach like this usually leads you to go around in a circle and, sooner or later, to be single again, because your strategy of taking what is available is not healthy and you will not find the right partner.

Rather, the goal should be to enjoy your singleness and make the most of it. You may never be single again, or maybe not for long. This is your chance to fully focus on yourself. Not only in your self-development, but in doing the things you love.

Being single is when you live for yourself, not just yourself. Being single doesn’t have to mean being solely on the lookout for love. In some ways, it can be a quest to find yourself and learn to be the best you can be, in and out of a relationship, but frankly, a lot of being single is, well, just being…you.

One of the most frustrating things someone who is single but doesn’t want to hear is, “It will happen when you least expect it.” People like to be proactive and in control, and hearing that love may not come until they stop doing something about it is incredibly difficult. I believe that you must be proactive in your whole life, not only in your search for love, but all proactive efforts to find love must come from a sincere experience based on being true to yourself.

Don’t rush to a cooking class to meet people if you can’t stand to cook and don’t join a golf club thinking the back nine is going to be your new pick up spot. Enjoy life, enjoy your own interests and follow your own passions. When you are excited about your own life, others will be attracted to you. If you try to fake your way into someone’s heart, it will never work and it certainly won’t last.

The dating “game” doesn’t need to have any rules, except one: be yourself. Other essential tips to keep in mind if you are single include:

• Enjoy your single life. Think of all that you have to look forward to: the first kiss, the anticipation of failing at love. It’s exciting to be single! Your future is open and you can write your own happy and forever beginning.
• Know who you are and what you like instead of focusing on the search for love.
• When looking for love, do the things you enjoy, instead of faking it because you think that’s where the other singles are.
• Reflect on what you’ve learned from past relationships so that future relationships get off to a better start. Don’t look for love until you have an open heart that is healed from past hurts.
• If you must make a list of what you’re looking for in a partner, do it, then put it away and don’t let it become a narrow script that closes you off from other opportunities.

Follow the tips above and get ready for love to come in the most unexpected packages and surprising ways.