Meeting your ex boyfriend when you want him back
The first time you see your ex after he broke up with you is going to be very emotional. If you are looking to get back together with him, you will probably be very nervous. And whether he’s looking to fix your breakup or not, he’ll be nervous too. Although you probably spoke on the phone or via email, this is the first physical contact you’ve had with your ex in a long time. The fights and arguments that probably ended their relationship have faded, leaving both of them with a clear head.
Getting to this point in your reconciliation is a good sign. Even if you (or your ex) hosted this gathering as a friendly lunch or a cup of coffee, the fact that he’s here talking to you one-on-one definitely says something that he’s still potentially interested. If your boyfriend had moved, he probably wouldn’t be here. And if you think that he is sitting across from you just to “be friends” with you, you are completely wrong. Either he wants to go out with you again or he wants to have the opportunity to go out with you again in the future. Of course, there is also the possibility that he is looking for a connection with his ex-girlfriend … but that’s another situation entirely.
When a man breaks up with you, it is never final. There are always ways to get back together, regardless of the circumstances. But if you’ve been actively working to get your boyfriend back, he’s probably here at least to listen to you. That is why you should come to the meeting date as prepared as possible.
First of all, stay away from any serious conversation. Don’t let small talk completely take over here (you don’t want it to bore him!) But at the same time you should avoid talking about your breakup at all. Try to read it and see what it feels like. If he speaks, he listens. Do not interrupt. What you’re saying is probably important, and you don’t want to miss out if you cut in with a nervous and awkward conversation. If your ex mentions that he misses you at all, tell him that you feel the same way. If she brings up your past relationship, simply tell her that you wish things didn’t end the way they did. This opens the door for him, very slightly, to move on. You are letting him know that you are still interested, but without being over the top.
Above all else, DO NOT apologize, even if you mean it. This is neither the time nor the place to repeat what happened between the two of you. Meeting your ex boyfriend for the first time after the breakup is about making him feel comfortable with you. He is happy to see you and keeps things light and casual. Chances are, he’s happy too, and the two of you can slip back into that old familiarity of being close to each other. This is good, because it reminds him of what it was like to go out with you.
If all else fails and the conversation locks up into nothing more than small talk, you can try one last thing: bring up a past memory. Think about the best time you had together and where you had it. Treat the subject casually, tell him that you passed by that place the other day and thought about him. Look what it does. If it looks awkward, back off a bit. But if he smiles and nods in recognition, you just planted a little seed in his head. Later on, that seed will sprout a bit as you remember those good times as well. And so, you have him thinking of you again. Small steps!
