Tips on how to be fawning, if you’re not already
What was Birbal to Akbar, what was Bellatrix to Voldemort Guess? You know them by different names chamcha, ass kisser, brown nose, sucker, yeah man. You find them proliferating everywhere, even in the most unlikely places. Their job is essentially the same, to praise and curry favor with those in power. You would be very lucky not to meet one in your life. You can loathe them, curse them, plan their way out but you can’t ignore them.
They smooth their way by buttering lanes to facilitate some much-needed power and recognition, oblivious to the normal non-sycophant buddy. So what makes them so successful that they draw the ire of lesser mortals who have yet to learn the tricks of the trade? Time to stop hating them and join the bandwagon and flaunt the chamchagiri with aplomb and wear it as a badge of honour.
For those who are guessing the ready recipe to be a sycophant, here are some handy tips. Follow it at your own risk.
- Leave the ego at the threshold: Ego is for losers. All our sacred scriptures tell us so. It is not like this? So here is the advice. Elevate the boss or whoever you want favors on a pedestal, and bow before him as you would before God and truly believe in his powers that can make your life. For those who are atheists, bad luck.
- Know the object of your affection: Leave no stone unturned. Be your date of birth, your favorite hobbies, your tastes, your fantasies. His extensive family tree and his fantasies too. No information is trivial enough. It’s better if you know if he prefers karela a bhindi before inviting him to dinner.
- It reflects your opinion: For those who didn’t know that a mirror is man’s best friend. Know it now. I’m not talking about the “mirror mirror on the wall” kind of truthful variety. I speak of the one who speaks only what he likes. Echo your opinion word for word, better yet parrot it and regurgitate when necessary.
- Smile: I mean it can’t get any simpler than this. Even in the face of a beating you might face at times, just smile benignly, don’t smile or do any other tempting variety of anger, and repeat in your heart the mantra for success “He is my God, he is my God. This is for me.” own good”. “and your God would help you for sure.
- No job is small: Live your life with this motto. Whether it’s walking the dog, cutting vegetables in his kitchen, or wiping his son’s bottom if he doesn’t offer his too easily. No job is too small to be ignored.
Finally, after following the tips mentioned above, you will find that your object of fantasy offers you his butt to be cleaned only by you and no one else. In case the object is transferred or leaves. Don’t be discouraged. Just repeat the process. After all, winning requires persistence and practice.
